2 Corinthians 4:16-18 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
September is national Suicide and Self harm awareness month. Did you know:
http://www.afsp.org/index.cfm?page_id=04ea1254-bd31-1fa3-c549d77e6ca6aa37 (Please click the link for further reading)
- Every 14.2 minutes someone in the United States dies by suicide.
- Nearly 1,000,000 people make a suicide attempt every year.
- 90% of people who die by suicide have a diagnosable and treatable psychiatric
- disorder at the time of their death.
Today I want to tell you, if this is you or someone you know, THERE IS HOPE!!!! And that hope is found in our Lord Jesus Christ. We live in a fallen world. Here life is not pretty, it's not always fun. As human beings, sin is of our nature. Only Jesus is perfect. Here people will hurt you, they will betray you. That is just the ugly truth. But if we are Christ followers we have ETERNITY to look forward to. And that life will be PERFECT! Now, following Jesus will not take the pain away, but it can make it better. There is HOPE! Do not be ashamed or afraid to seek help, or confront a hurting friend. This is a real, serious issue and SHOULD NOT be taken lightly.
Deuteronomy 31:8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
One of the most amazing women I know is my sister, and one of my dearest friends, Jiselle. The fact that she is alive today is an absolute MIRACLE! Please take the time to read her testimony below, she has taken the time to write this out to share with all of you. Knowing her, hearing her testimony just proves how big God is, and shows just how much he loves Jiselle, just as he loves me and he loves you. I hope this gives you as much hope and comfort as it gives me. God has promised to NEVER leave us, not forsake us.
Jiselle- "As I entered that court room, bedazzled in an orange
jumpsuit and silver handcuffs, I realized that something needed to change. I listened to sentence after sentence given
out to the criminals before me and I understood that there was so much more for
me. But I didn’t know where to
start. I didn’t know what change looked
like and I definitely didn’t know what it meant to move on from my past. I was stuck in a rut, dug by the world around
me and I so faithfully buried myself in.
Let me tell you a story; the story that explains but does
not excuse; the story that led to me-sitting in a jail cell-as numb as the
concrete blocks that held me in and the iron bars that covered the
windows.
The abuse started when I was just thirteen years old. I was a seventh grader trying to figure out
where my place was in this world. They
didn’t know. They didn’t know that they could hurt and damage me so badly. They didn’t know how fragile and innocent I
was. They didn’t know that the words,
the rumors, the lies, the assumptions, and the touches could bury hatred so
deep in my soul. But what does that
matter? It didn’t stop them when scars
carved by my own hand began to appear on my arms. It didn’t stop them when I told them no. It didn’t stop them when I refused. By eighth grade I had started to experiment
with drugs and alcohol. I was
consistently self harming and thought that love was found in relationships. People in my life began to die and I saw
grief everywhere I turned.
Freshman year rolled around and I was determined to make
things better. God reappeared briefly in
my life and I had sudden hope. But by
the end of the year, my much older boyfriend had taken advantage of me and the
lies of my past were engrained into my mind.
Sophomore year-I was the wild party girl. I had no limits and I truly believed that I
was invincible. I was suffering from
PTSD-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder-and I didn’t know how to handle the pain. Counseling was of little help. I was running away and housing myself in
shady places. I was addicted to several
drugs including marijuana, prescription pills, and tobacco and I was participating
in criminal activities. What did I think
of love? There was no such thing; it was
a fictional concept that could never truly be found in this world. In fact, I deliberately denied the love the
God and my family was extending me, because there was so much shame and guilt
that consumed me. Death was all around
me and I pleaded with God to be next because the self-harm wasn’t enough and I was
desperate to end my life. I ended up in
the psychiatric hospital on two separate occasions and returned home with a
feeling of numbness.
And so there I was, sitting in a jail cell staring at the
fuzzy reflection in the mirror, wondering, “How did I get here?” I applied to a Christian, residential,
counseling program called Mercy Ministries, but ended the application process
before it could truly begin.
It was one specific moment, when everything changed. My whole world turned right side up for once. I had just taken a pregnancy test only a few
weeks earlier, and it had turned out positive.
I was eight weeks pregnant-what a surprise-what next dramatic thing was
about to occur? I was so tired of the
pain, the frustration, the sorrow and bitterness in my life and I couldn’t
control the tears pouring down my face.
I opened a bottle of pills and ran them through my fingers. I tasted the
powder residue on the outside and felt my heart tear into a million pieces. “God, why
me? How did I get here? There is nothing left for me!” I contemplated ending it all right then and
there. But I felt an incredible passion
for the tiny baby inside of me that I could not yet hear, feel, or see. And at
that moment I told God, “If I’m going to do this, then I’m going to do it
right.” You see, at that moment, I CHOSE
LIFE.
I reapplied to Mercy Ministries and after an incredibly
grueling application process, I was accepted in-free of charge. I worked through the most difficult memories
of my past, and allowed God to give me back some of the memories that I had
forgotten. I forgave, loved, and let
myself be loved. I chose to parent my
baby after working through a basic decision making course where I weighed the
options of parenting and adoption-but most of all, I learned how to hear God’s
voice and took His direction. I lived
and breathed by faith. I realized that I
am a new creation in Jesus Christ…”Though your sins are like scarlet, they
shall be white as snow” –Isaiah 1:18.
“My beloved spoke and said to me ‘Arise, my darling, my beautiful one,
come with me. See! The winter is past; the rains are over and
gone” –Song of Songs 2:10-11. I learned
that HE paid the ultimate price to save my life and give me eternal freedom in
the Kingdom of Heaven. “But HE was
pierced for OUR transgressions, HE was crushed for OUR iniquities; the
punishment that brought US peace was on HIM and by HIS wounds WE are
healed”-Isaiah 53:5.
I graduated within three months (the average is six) and was
nine months pregnant when I left my home of Mercy Ministries. I returned to my incredible family of Christ
followers who embraced me with love and acceptance for my decision to parent my
baby.
So where am I now?
I’m living at home with my parents, baby sister (who’s almost 17) and my
incredible
eight month old son named Jayden John Thomas. I am working full time and starting nursing
school this winter. My ultimate dream is
to work as a flight nurse (the nurses on the emergency helicopters) so that I
can dramatically save lives the way God saved mine. I am a youth group leader for seventh grade
girls and am constantly pursuing my prince charming, Jesus. I am not working towards the Kingdom of
Heaven, but rather, I am living IN it.
Of course, I am not perfect, and I fall short of the glory of God every
single day…multiple times…but He throws my sins behind Him and never looks
back. "
 |
| This is my precious nephew, Jiselle's son Jayden. Jiselle is an incredible mother and God's love shines in and through both Jiselle and Jayden. Jayden is such a happy little boy. |
If you want information on Mercy Ministries, where Jiselle stayed, or would like to donate to help their cause, please visit their website at
http://www.mercyministries.org/
http://www.mercyministries.org/
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